The Broken Man

I thought I was the one who was depressed because my eyes were getting red again last Sunday. I get out from my crab shell and expressed my pain by crying because I don't want to treasure them in my heart. Well, it is just part of me to burst out my emotion especially when I am alone. It is definitely normal for me.

But last night to my great surprised my mobile phone was ringing and I've got a text message "You know, I am tired of my life right now and I feel like I don't really don't like it anymore". Then, I asked him why? then, he replied "my wife left me, I felt abandoned, she's now in London working as a nurse and here I am a single man again.

He already informed me about his status before that his wife will leave but this time I asked him "but why did you allowed her to go? Then his response was "because it is her ambition and It's hard for me to stop her in reaching her dreams".

UNSELFISH LOVER

His a great lover and he was so inlove with her. For him, she was the most beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman that his eyes had ever seen. For sure, in his standard no other woman can be compared with her. Everytime, we saw a beautiful woman in a training that we conducted he often asked for my opinion. "What do you think about her and my wife?" Who is the most beautiful? Then, whether I will answer that the other woman was more exquisite, our conversation will end up with him bragging about her excellent and incomparable qualifications.

He definitely, desired nothing but her growth and happiness. He sent her to prestigious university in order for her to finish a four year degree and after which she worked in a travel agency and they got married but no child. Then, lately she studied nursing and last year I've learned that she passed the board and this year she decided to work in London.

THE TEARS OF SUPERMAN

Many of those friends who heard about him will definitely agree with me if I will say that he was a genius. He often describe himself "wise guy". So he often reminded me "Anak, whenever you look for a husband be sure he is as wise as me". Too good to be really true, he graduated cum laude from his economics degreee. He occupied a very high position in the National Government Agency. He was a bussinessman and had so many properties, artist, poet, historian, mathematician, debater and a very well-rounded person. But his waterloo was not given a chance to be father so he often calls me "Anak" and I called him "Tatay or Papa". I knew in my heart that he really wanted to have a child because normally on his birthday it is his uttered wish but God didn't allowed him to have one. He instead adopted a boy to be considered his son. Sometimes when he text me "Anak, when I am already old pls. don't forget to visit me at the home for the aged" and I said "why? are you planning to stay there?"he said "maybe I will end up there". The other night, his text message was "sorry if I disturb you, I just have no one to talk to except you".

SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AIN'T ENOUGH

I am partly sad to know lately about their separation with his wife. Eversince as a child, I saw how much love and affection they gave to each other. They even cried so much during their church wedding. Most of the time, I get envy watching them so sweet, hugging and kissing each other for my parents never allowed me to see any affection because my mother was conservative. When he was drank he keeps on calling her name but I also can understand why his wife left. Maybe she has many reasons that only a woman can understand. Maybe she needs a personal space to fill up. Maybe she's longing to be a mother too. Whatever their reasons, they are the one who knows.

But this also lead me to think that maybe their love for one another was not as strong as they have it before.

Sometimes, our ambitions in life will overshadow our love or love will just fade and we realized later that even if we want to keep it there are other forces on earth that is stronger than our love.

Time, distance, space and change are great forces.

Personally, I know how distance became an enemy of love. Whether physical, emotional or the worse is personal distance. But of course as one poet said "Real love, knows no distance".

I know right now he was so depressed and we keep on texting but I also shared some of his depression but his quite indifferent towards life. His words are not as strong as before. We've known each other since I was fourteen. He seems so alive, funny and full of sense of humor but now even without seeing him personally his messages send me some painful feelings of lost.

But I know he can get over it soon for I know a strong man like him will be broken for sometimes but never surrender.